As a single gay traveller, when exploring foreign lands it would be rude not to go native and if the opportunity to have a holiday romance comes into your sight then why not go for it?

Yes, a holiday romance can develop to be a long term thing, however when entering the territory of a holiday fling, treat it as a fling, savor it. Like your travels to a foreign land it’s something for a fixed time only. Bringing a date back to your home land can be like bringing a bottle of local liquor home, that one that slipped down your throat and made your taste buds and body fizz with excitement and joy, however once it travels into your time zone it tastes like unlaundered underwear that has festered at the bottom of your travel bag.

I know of some guys that go on line to line up a date or dates which are just as important to them as the actual travel adventure. The term around the world in 80 shags (or more) should actually be made into a travel documentary, however I think there possibly is an X rated film with a similar title.

Male nudes

So what are the key benefits of a holiday romance?

  1. You have someone to share your experiences with, when you see something exciting, amusing or amazing you can turn to them and talk about the event.
  2. You can wake up with a smile on your face and a comfortable body to explore before the days travel plans commence.
  3. If you are dating a local guy, you will experience parts of the country that aren’t in the guidebook your travel experience will have a true originality with a focus on the local flavor.
  4. If you’ve lined the date up on line prior to your travels, then the travel costs can be dramatically reduced as you could get free accommodation thrown in. If this is a the case then have an alternative accommodation lined up if your on line date turns out to be a) A psycho b) Not quite right c) A complete no go zone
  5. It could be the start of something amazing, long term and full of possibilities. There is always optimism, however be realistic.

And there are an equal amount of warning signs to be aware of.

  1. Holiday romances are great. A sexual adventure can be the cherry on the cake of your travels. However if your date is like the international airport with many many people going through him from all corners of the world. Be careful, use protection. You want fond memories from your travels, not a chronic illness or a heap of medical issues from your encounter on the pale fine sands of a far away beach under the moonlight.
  2. Your holiday/travel plans have an end date, and unless you want to enter into a long haul distance relationship your romance should have an end date. It’s all too common to pledge to stay together no matter what the distance. Be realistic! Unless you have a bottomless pit of funds to cover airfares and a very flexible job allowing for annual leave, know that the the relationship has a “use by” date.
  3. When going to some Far East countries be wary of being landed with a bill for services rendered, there is an industry out there capitalizing on sex tourists. Make sure you know what the deal is before arranging your romance. Also be aware of the legal implications of having a same sex encounter in the foreign land, some cultures and customs are very relaxed and Westernised, others are not. There have been many cases reported and unreported about blackmail gangs that are out to fleece a traveller out of substantial sums of money as they have broken the local law.
  4. Along the same lines as above point, be completely aware of your location and let people know where you’re going. The traditional dating tip, have a check in time with friends. The worst thing you can do is arrive jet lagged at an airport, be picked up and whisked off to somewhere you don’t know. Travelers go missing all the time, you’ve seen the reports. Don’t be a statistic. When arriving in a new country, if you have lined up a date in the country, be awake, alert and refreshed before you meet. Know the geography of the area. Have a get out quickly scheme readily to hand.
  5. When you live in two separate countries, you may have widely differing cultural backgrounds, the odds are stacked against you. There may be language challenges that seem so cute and adorable when you’re with them in their country. In the cold reality of everyday life for a long term relationship to work then someone is going to have to move countries. With all the best will in the world that has a whole new dimension to the situation. Unless you like form filling, challenges with visa departments and a big pot of money to pay for the costs then remove these thoughts from your mind.

This may seem like a complete downer on holiday romances, it’s not, they can be amazing, so long as you take them for what they are. I’ve had a few in my past and I still look back at them fondly. Enjoy the moment, be sensible, be safe and secure. If you create a big romantic over inflated rose coloured balloon around a holiday romance then sooner of later the balloon will burst or deflate to a saggy mess.

 

If you have a story to prove me wrong, please let me know and share your story hello@gaydatingexpert.co.uk

@jonathanwelfordJonathan Welford is a Dating and Relationship expert who heads up GayDatingExpert.co.uk and is regular relationship columnist for publications in the UK and USA, read his columns on DatingAdvice.com

He is also author of three relationship coaching books ‘The Dating Expert’, ’30 Day Dating Detox’ and ‘The Ex-Extinction Programme