rainbow flag - coming out

Home for the first time after coming out…part 1

In case you don’t know, I’m home in Dallas, Texas for the first time in 18 months after travelling around the world. It’s also the first time I’m home since coming out. I won’t lie that I was more than a bit nervous. Nervous about a lot of silly little things. Who had I told? Who hadn’t I told? Would I need to come out all over again?

I’m finally comfortable with who I am and not only that, but I’ve been living a regular (ie, non-travel) life in Berlin for the past five months. While finally living in a single place as an out gay male, a lot of things have gone through my mind. I couldn’t help but feel that I’d missed out on so much in life since I didn’t come out until my mid-20s. I realize that some people never feel this comfortable this early, but it seems to me that increasingly people come out sooner and sooner. Or maybe I’m just jealous.

Anyways, being home for the first time after coming out hasn’t been weird at all. The day before I left, I was more than nervous. I wished I had someone to come home with…a boyfriend to bring to dinner. Someone I could share my experience with while finally being me with the family. That part of the process of coming out has yet to happen…bringing home a boy.

Here’s a little snippet of a conversation I had with an old friend from high school:

friend: so why did you wait until recently to come out
me: i dunno. i guess i was only able to admit it to myself recently. finally felt comfortable with the idea
friend: cool. i bet <so and so> was crushed. didn’t you have a marriage pact with her?

So far home doesn’t feel any different. Besides getting a magazine in the mail from the Human Rights Campaign, there’s no mention of me being gay. No one’s asked me yet if I have a boyfriend…but that doesn’t seem strange to me because my family hardly ever used to ask when I’d come home if I had “met any girls.” But maybe that’s because they always knew I was looking at guys.

Meh. I’m glad to be home. I’m glad to be gay. I also read this nice little Q&A on UnicornBooty about coming home for the first holiday after coming out. Thought it was interesting.

Published by

Adam Groffman

Adam is a gay travel blogger and writes the popular blog, Travels of Adam, in addition to being the editor and publisher of My Gay Travel Guide. He likes beaches, sleeping in unmade beds, reading newspapers and city trips. His work has been published in Vanity Fair, Huffington Post, the DETAILS network and numerous travel websites. Follow him on Google+ and Pinterest for more travel inspiration.

19 thoughts on “Home for the first time after coming out…part 1”

  1. I love how your mom commented Adam! A supportive family is something I think many of us take for granted at times. I bet you are relieved to have everything out in the open at last.

  2. Hoo-boy do I know how you feel. I wasn’t all-the-way out (telling the family) until …26. That’s not even a year ago! Such a weight off my shoulders and already things seem to be getting better. 🙂

  3. I wanted to ask you if you had a boyfriend when we were talking after Thanksgiving dinner but I hesitated. I’m sorry Adam, I should’ve asked!!

  4. Those of us who know you Adam don’t care if you are gay, straight, black, white, purple or green, we love you because you are you and who could ask for anything more than that!

    Love you!

      1. Adam my mom is upset because I did not include her in my post. So per my mom she feels the same and could not love you more!

Leave a Reply